As a teenager and even into my early twenties I didn't really have a personal style and I had zero confidence. Being plus size as a teenager was tough, even if I wanted to, it was damn near impossible to find anything fashionable that came in my size. On the odd occasion when I was able to find something that I liked and mustered up the guts to wear it I would spend the time wearing said item agonising on how uncomfortable I felt in it. Planning events with all my gorgeously slim, confident friends was the worst, and even when I did make it on a night out inside all I could think was:
Are people staring?
I look so fat.
I want to go home
Because of this terrible pattern, as the years went on I lived in leggings and boring tops, and black was my go-to colour of choice. I made it my point to blend in and never stand out. I convinced myself that I shouldn't buy new clothes because I would 'finally losing the weight' so there was no point in investing in anything new. Sadly that never worked out and instead my self hatred grew along with clothing size.
Years later into early adulthood I discovered the world of body positivity and plus size fashion bloggers, it was then I realized just how sad it was that I had missed out enjoying fashion, fun nights out and time with my friends on by being so hard on myself about my weight. On these blogs I found, were so many gorgeous women who were my size and bigger who looked absolutely incredible living wonderful, full and happy lives in their bodies and I wanted a piece of it. It was then I began my journey into finding happiness in my skin and later my personal style. Today I want to share with you, 5 tips that helped me get to find the confidence to wear the clothes I love and feel good about it
1. Surround yourself with body positivity
None of tips 2-4 can really work unless you start with this one. Finding the body positive community was the start of a wonderful realisation for me and without that I think I would still be the same unconfident, unhappy girl as I was all the years before. Start by following other people that look like you, that represent your beliefs and stop following social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. The same goes for the media you absorb, do not buy body shaming magazines, instead read those that show a diverse range of women and who write articles with substance.
2. Don't wait until you lose weight to buy clothes you love
For years I put off buying clothes because I convinced myself I would slim out of them, which in turn further created a cycle of failure and disappointment when I didn't manage to lose the weight I thought I would. Instead treat yourself to the things you like the look of, go shopping with your friends, buy yourself something in your current size and tell yourself you deserve it no matter what size you are. Investing in yourself is the best thing you will ever do.
3. Don't get obsessed with trends
One thing that bugs me is the idea that loving fashion means only following trends, fashion is so much more than that. Whilst yes I love following seasonal trends each year It doesn't stop me from wearing things I like. Fashion is a way for you to show your personality and who you are so if you want to wear a muliti coloured knit dress with pom poms from head to toe, you bloody well wear that whether it is on trend or not.
4 . Repeat and record outfits that make you feel good
There is nothing wrong with finding something that works for you and repeating that. If you like how jumpsuits work with you and you want to spend your life wearing only jumpsuits, then that is a-ok. Whilst I am always experimenting I have my go to looks that I know that work and I am not afraid to find my comfort zone in that. Taking outfit photos and selfies are a great way to record those looks that make you feel great, so on those days when you need a pick me up you can look back and find something that works and makes you feel amazing.
5. Ignore what other people think of you
This one I kept to last because I believe it is the hardest of all to adapt. However I believe overtime, with hard work and endurance of telling yourself you deserve to feel good you will start giving less fucks about what people think. Confidence is something that is built inside and half of it comes from letting go of internal voices that tell you that you are not good enough, or that others are better than you. The truth is life is just too short for you to worry about how others perceive you, especially strangers. So if you spot someone staring at you in the street, smile at them, ask them if they are looking for something, make them feel uncomfortable by rising above their negativity. Tell yourself you are worthy because I hate to break it to you but you are.