
My bra is showing a little in these photos, and when I was shooting these pictures in the middle of New York I remember saying to my friends Lydia and Alex ' Is the bra too much?' It was only showing a tiny bit but I thought maybe this is too risqué for an outfit out and about around New York City. In hindsight I was being ridiculous, why should I care if my bra was showing, it's just a bra, I felt great and no one died for seeing a tiny bit of my underwear. The problem is even I, a fairly confident plus size woman can't always get passed the 'rules' that are put on to us as women. You know the ones that we are taught since we are practically birthed on how we should present ourselves to the world?
Wear black because it's slimming.
Don't show too much cleavage.
No horizontal stripes.
It's boobs out or legs out, never both.

When ever I do interviews for magazines one of the questions I am nearly always asked is 'what tips do you have for dressing as a plus size woman' and sometimes I just want to say,
'Put on clothes you like and leave, the house the end.'
Why do women need tips for something as basic as getting dressed?
But I get why people ask this, I like to think most people mean well, and the truth is, more often or not, it's true, plus size women do struggle with knowing how to dress or how to be 'brave' It's just what we have been taught and it's really hard to unlearn all those negative thoughts.
Due to this very reason unfortunately some my harshest critics are fellow plus size women. Every time I get featured on a brands page as a plus size woman wearing anything that isn't conventional or deemed as suitable for 'curvy women' the rules are relayed to me.
That isn't flattering
Plus size women can't wear that
I wouldn't wear that


There are no rules
when it comes to fashion

Sometimes I want to scream when I see this. Like seriously we have it hard enough from everyone else we really don't need this from each other.
But is it really any surprise that this still happens? These rules are perpetuated all the time in the media and not even just to plus size women. We are constantly offered tips and tricks to alter our shape, change our size, look younger and most importantly thinner.
So how do we get past this?
Well first of all,we need to start accepting people as they are.
Let people wear what they want and decide what they want without passing judgement.
Call out slut shaming.
If a person wants to wear something outlandish, bright and bold , let them. You don't have to like it, you are not wearing it.
Remind yourself that the whole point of fashion is that it is fun and expressive, a way to show your personality, show who you are!
It took me nearly 5 years to be in a position where I can leave the house in something I like, rather than what I should like and you know what it feels really good.
My skin is thicker than ever to deal with 'Sandra from Southampton' who tells me that I look awful in anything that isn't a dress and leggings because quite honestly I don't care. I am tired of living my life to make other people happy.
If I could impart one piece of advise above everything else it would be to diversify your life. Curate your social media feeds with strong, diverse women. Disabled women, black women, plus size women, trans women.
Surround yourself with 'the rule breakers' and soon you will be breaking the rules too.

What I am wearing:
Shirt - New Look (Similar here)
Culottes - New Look
Shoes - ASOS
Earrings - H&M (Similar here)
This is inspiring!
You look absolutely fabulous in those pictures!
And the positivity you display feels so good and empowering – so thank you!
I’m 59. I didn’t get actually overweight until my mid 30s. But I always thought I was overweight. At 5’9 and 140, I shouldn’t have been told that I needed to loose weight! I appreciate the confidence you share with us because I still have this idea that if everything isn’t exactly what so and so looks like, it isn’t acceptable. So keep it up!
You’re beautiful, sexy and happy! Why would a tiny bit of a bra showing be a problem?
Brava!
Yesssss
Love your attitude, and you look great!
you look lovely even if you broke the rules of showing boobs AND legs 🙂
Oh, I know so well. I’m so sick of being told “dark colours, vertical lines, focus on the waist, blue is your best colour” and so on. I’ve spent ten years in dull and boring clothes, well no more. After having my second child I thought, I really do want to be a happy mom. I have to work on that. Last week I bought a yellow cardigan (my mother says yellow makes me look pale so I’ve never worn yellow before). I think living in Scandinavia really makes me look pale most of the time anyway, and if my yellow cardigan makes me more happy it means I should wear it a lot. Most of all when it’s dark and rainy. I really feel inspired reading your blog, and I wish I could have such a genuine and warm smile:) Well I’ll be working on that.
Yay for the amazing yellow cardigan. I think colour really helps improve moods and I have been loving wearing it lately.
Thank you so much for reading my blog I really appreciate it! xx
Thank you for taking time to answer! You know, I still haven’t been able to wear my happy cardigan, I just felt stupid and ugly and got afraid people at work would talk behind my back. I don’t know why really, I’ve been wearing lots of colours lately to feel better and I don’t blend into all the navy and grey at the office anyway. I’ve started wearing a white t-shirt with yellow stripes instead, baby steps! Do you ever feel you have to ease into a new look? I admire your confidence, but I struggle to find that for myself and that really makes me a sad and angry little person. Oh, well.
Darling girl, wear that yellow cardigan and smile, smile, smile! I’m 56 and have wasted years dressing to the rules rather than wearing what makes me happy. Now, after 4 years of dangerous ill health, I value every single day I am alive. I wear what gives me pleasure and I take great care not to pass on my body issues to my fabulous 2 year old granddaughter. Love yourself and enjoy your children and your life.
🙂
I could not have said it better myself! I am always reminding the plus size women in my life and even strangers that it’s your body. Wear what you feel confident in. So what if my high-waisted light wash jeans highlight my large belly. I HAVE A LARGE BELLY. Sure there are pieces that can hide it better, but I love those high waisted jeans, and most importantly, I feel confident in them. The mind is a powerful thing, be if we learn to embrace rather than judge we can do amazing things!! You are such an inspiration Callie, thank you!!